小學生用來表的演英語笑話大全

　　笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默，與一般日常會話不同。下面是小編帶來的小學生用來表的演英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　

　　***一***

　　誰說我老了?

　　Chaucer was over seventy , but he was not convinced of his age. At a time he boasted: “My physical strength is as strong as that I was young.” The opposite person asked: “ What do you rely on? ” Chaucer said : “ There is a big stone roller in my compound. I couldn’t heave it when was young, neither can I now.”

　　喬叟年過六旬，仍不服老。一次，他對人誇耀說：“我和年輕時力氣一樣大。”對方問：“何以見得?”喬叟說：“我家大院裡有個石頭，年輕時我舉不起來，現在我還是舉不起來。”

　　***二***

　　有其父必有其子

　　Son: Papa, what' s the meaning of " Like father, like son"?

　　Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?

　　兒子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什麼意思呀?

　　父親：狗崽子，你在學校又幹什麼見不得人的事啦?

　　小學生用來表的演英語笑話欣賞

　　***一***

　　您的大衣著火了

　　The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to countfifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. The next dayhe was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly.Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire,sir!

　　老師為了讓學生記住先思考後發言，告訴他們在說出重要事情之前先數到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數到100。 第二天，當老師背靠著火爐講課時，發現好幾個學生的嘴脣在很快地不停地動。突然，全班學生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”

　　***二***

　　臨死前給我吃點小甜餅吧

　　A Dying Man's Favorite Cookies An elderly man lay dying in his bed.

　　臨死者最愛吃的小甜餅一位瀕臨死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受著死亡的煎熬。

　　In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies waftingup the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaningagainst the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effortforced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

　　突然一股香味順著樓下飄了上來，那正是他最喜歡的巧克力小薄餅的味道。他用盡吃奶的力氣掙扎著從床上爬了起來，倚著牆，慢慢地走出了臥室，並且用最後的力量用雙手抓住扶手走下了樓梯。

　　With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.Were it notfor death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven:

　　老人靠在門框上，嘴裡喘著氣，眼睛凝神著廚房。如果不是因為承受著臨死的痛苦，老人會認為自己到了天堂。

　　there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favoritechocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven?

　　那裡，在廚房鋪著報紙的桌子上，確切地說有數百個他最喜歡吃的巧克力小薄餅。真在天堂嗎?

　　Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world ahappy man?Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on hisknees in a rumpled posture.

　　還是他那離婚妻子的最後一次英雄般的愛心顯示，以便讓他開心地離開這個世界?集中最後的力量，老人跪著雙膝掙扎著移向桌子。他口乾舌燥，嘴巴張開。

　　His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seeminglybringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie atthe edge of the table,

　　他感受到了美妙的甜餅味道，彷彿要將他帶回人世。他的一隻年邁乾癟的手顫顫悠悠地伸向桌子邊緣的一隻小甜餅。

　　when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.Stay out of those, she said, they'refor the funeral.

　　突然，他妻子扔過一把鏟子，砸在他的手上。“離遠點”，他妻子說。“這是為你的葬禮準備的。”

　　經典的小學生用來表的演英語笑話

　　***一***

　　逼真的戲劇太假了

　　When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I requiredmy students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. Afterviewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: The play was so real, I thought Iwas actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.

　　我在北達科他州立大學教戲劇入門課時，要求學生們去看學校劇團當時的演出，並寫一篇評論。一場極為精彩的演出後，一名學生寫道：“這部戲劇是如此逼真，以致於我認為我自己是坐在家裡的沙發上，從電視上看到的。”

　　***二***

　　免費勞動力

　　An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison.

　　一個老人獨居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨生子正在坐牢。

　　The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone whowould help him plow up the garden.He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, ForHEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!

　　老人想在花園裡種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻鬆。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻鬆花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”

　　At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened andasking him what to do next.His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.

　　第二天凌晨4點，一隊英國士兵出現在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但並沒有找到任何槍支。”老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發生了什麼事情，下一步應該怎麼做。兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”