初中英文笑話文章帶翻譯

　　笑話是一種藝術方法.笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：智力缺陷

　　"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

　　“醫生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問，“對於一個看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了，”醫生回答，“問他一個簡單的問題，簡單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不乾脆，那你就知道是怎麼回事了。”“那要問什麼樣的問題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問，‘庫克船長環球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說，我對歷史瞭解的不是很多。”

　　：Midway Tactics

　　中間戰術

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhemto ensue.

　　三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "FantasticDiscounts!"

　　左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中間的商人隨後準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“***處”。

　　：動機

　　My English professor once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

　　我們英文課的教授有一次在課上講“動機”。“是什麼推動你在人生的路上向前走?”他問道，“是什麼讓你每天上學來?又是什麼驅使你追求成功?”衝著一個女學生，他問：“是什麼讓你早晨從床上爬起來的呢?”學生答道：“我媽媽。”

　　：精神病醫生

　　Psychiatrist

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I thinkthere's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," saidthe shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do youcharge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctormet Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me tocut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“為什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”