幽默類的英語短文閱讀

　　隨著經濟全球化的發展和國際交往的日益頻繁,語言成為人們互相交流的重要橋樑。英語教學已成為各級學校的重點教學內容。本文是幽默類的英語短文，希望對大家有幫助!

　　幽默類的英語短文：Be Careful What You Wish For

　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

　　Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

　　慎重許願

　　一對結婚25週年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

　　慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由於他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個願望。

　　妻子想周遊世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。

　　接下來該丈夫許願了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”

　　仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。

　　幽默類的英語短文：Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.

　　He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."

　　A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location."

　　"I-75, two miles south of Standish."

　　After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

　　在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。

　　於是，他爬到他的船裡面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。

　　一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了迴應，“報告你的位置”。

　　“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。

　　沉默了好一會之後，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”

　　幽默類的英語短文：Friend for Dinner

　　Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　　I know all that.

　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　　請朋友吃飯

　　“親愛的，”丈夫對妻子說：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”

　　“什麼?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是髒的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”

　　“這些我全都知道。”

　　“那你為什麼還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯?”

　　“因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”

　　幽默類的英語短文：A Peddler of Selling Earthen Basins ***賣瓦盆的小販***

　　A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked :"Earthen basin is round, beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, that earthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack***爆裂聲*** . Lookers-on burst into the roars of laughter. He threw the fragments***碎片，殘片*** without extra trouble into paddy***稻穀，稻田*** field, but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off***放過，不懲罰*** easily:" How the deuce ***強式特指問句*** can you throw them into my field? They’ll impede ***妨礙***my growing crops!" The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:" Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ."

　　一個小販在路邊賣瓦盆，他一邊敲一邊唱：“瓦盆圓又圓，結實又好看，光聽這聲音，就知不一般。”敲著敲著，“啪啦”一聲，把盆敲爛了。圍觀的人一陣鬨笑。他順手把碎片扔進了稻田裡，誰知人群中一個老農不幹了：“你怎麼能往我地裡扔?這不影響我種田嗎?” 賣瓦盆的小販連忙辯解：“不要緊，瓦片見水一會兒就粉了。”