大學英語作文及評析
評析一篇英語作文，在我們上了大學之後，這方面的能力是否增強了呢?下面是小編給大家整理的，供大家參閱!
：My First Year in College
My First Year in College
Many high school graduates wrongly assume that university life is totally free from worries. After a period of serious and solemn study in senior three, the hard beavers expect to take a break and develop some habits. However, many may find later that the situation may be beyond their anticipation.
I've tried to convince the adults around that the image they have of my university life as a free and unrestrained one is some what misunderstanding. In reality, school life is so busy that I sometimes wonder if my energy is enough.
About my first year in college, my life is mainly made up of two parts, study and practice. As a student, the main task is study. In order to gain a high GPA, I have to get used to the college life style and begin a new pursue in study. It is the learning method that shows off most of the differences between senior study and college study. ! have a roommate who goes out to have lessons in the morning and comes back in the evening after the self-study classroom is closed. The peers' behaviors make me feel under pressure. In university, one% view of life is integrally formed and strengthened. I begin to program my future plan and realize that study itself is an affair for me. The more courses I learn by heart, the more maturity I get. University education ensures students of better jobs. I usually reckon that time consuming on study is worthwhile as it bears such important events as occupation, career and responsibility.
To some extent, study and practice are intertwined, and they begin from the very start of freshman year. Student Union enjoys almost complete acceptance. It is a place where one can get his ability trained, have his competence applied and make a lot of friends who share the same interests with him. But sometimes, social activities and practices are time consuming, what's more, the sense of responsibility also requires you to make effort to fulfill the task.
No one starts in one's present position all along that it was what he or she wants to do. Sometimes, the chance will just lead you down some unforeseen trail only if you have a prepared mind. My first year in college is not relaxed, but all way along is full of curiosity and satisfaction.
簡 評
通過這篇作文，我們看到了一個值得佩服的女大學生，學習努力，又積極參與社會實踐，具有明確的人生目標，大一的生活過得充實而幸福。
從intertwine，time consuming，reckon等詞彙可以看得出來，作者的語言功底較為紮實，詞彙的使用準確而地道。作者從學習和實踐兩個方面進行闡述，並在末尾進行了總結，對文章開頭進行了呼應，顯示了作者嫻熟的寫作手法。
不過，從標題來看，這篇文章應當是寫作者對大一的總結和感受。論述提綱也是如此，但作者有點過於注重論證，去justify自己各方面的行為，而非從內心自我的角度出發去談自己的感受，作者除了在第二段用了幾個I作為句子的主語以外，文章的其餘部分幾乎沒有用I或my，反而是用了幾次you，這樣顯得客觀有餘，親切不足，是本文的美中不足之處。
點評教師：孫東雲
：The Life in Fudan
Fudan University is claimed to position the third in China.Given a chance to study in Fudan as an exchange student for one semester, I carried my luggage with excitement and aspired to having a fruitful semester in Fudan.
But when I reached the campus, I was shocked by the first sight of my room.
The room is shared by six students with only two tables and without any air-conditioning system. The toilet is unbearably dirty, with flies and mosquitoes, germs and bacteria. The most unbelievable thing is that all students in a hostel share one bath room and all of us have to wash our clothes by ourselves.What's more, there is no access to the Internet and not any TV in our dormitory.
By then, I realized how fortunate I was being a Hong Kong student.
Instead of complaining, I was simply confused about the way students adapt their lives to such an environment. I doubt my ability of adaptation as I am the kind of students, who are easily succumbing to and beaten by difficulties.
But after living with my classmates a few weeks, I am proud that I gradually get used to the life here and consider the poor environment as a challenge to me. In fact, no students in the faculty are immune from the kind of life here. Those who are younger than me can live happily here, so can I. They can concentrate on their studies here, why can't I? There are no clean toilets, no washing machines and no air-conditioning system, but at least I have electricity and fans to stay cool; I have water and hands to wash clothes, which is already enough.
If I had lived in hostel where we have a separate bathroom for each room, I would not have had the chance to build up relationship between students from different rooms in times of washing clothes and taking shower. The life here is a unique experience.
In addition, the most precious lesson I learn from students here is their attitudes of studying. They are so devoted and industrious that they get up so early in the morning, queuing for a seat in the library or studying in classroom till late at night.Students are determined to achieve their far-sighted target, like continuing their studies as postgraduates. Besides, the students here possess knowledge of different areas instead of simply focusing on one specific area.
Studying and living with them is a priceless and inspiring lesson to me, a surprise to me that causes me to treasure the things I have, even some minor things which I took it for granted. I am sure that the coming year will be a fruitful one.
簡 評
作為一名香港交流學生，樑佳義同學從自己獨特的視角看到了我們習以為常的事物。他先是對大陸大學生們的生活條件表示驚詫，然後是困惑，進而逐步適應。先是對復旦學子們的勤奮欽佩不已，進而下定決心努力學習。作者以細緻的筆觸娓娓講述了自己的思想歷程。
香港基本上是一個雙語社會，英語教學比較發達，學生們學習英語具有得天獨厚的條件，樑佳義同學就向我們展示了過硬的語言功底。一方面，作者的語言流暢、地道，例如片語如immune from，succumb to等的使用就格外引人注目，因為這些地道的搭配和表達方式往往在大陸大學生作文中很難找到。另一方面，作者在文章中表達了自己的真實感受，比如使用shocked來描述自己初到新的生活環境的感受，又接連使用了兩個so來表達自己對復旦學子的勤奮學習的無比欽佩，顯得坦率而真誠。
當然，段落清晰，結構分明，也是本文的一大優點。可能是出於個人寫作風格，作者有點偏愛排比的修辭手段，但對同義詞的排比如germs and bacteria，devoted and industrious等最好適當控制，語言就更上一層樓了。
點評教師：孫東雲
：Index of a Civilized Society
One of the greatest socialists said that the status of women in a society is a pretty reliable index of a civilized society. If it is true, then the present status of women which seems equal with men's though in fact women's status are much lower than men's in many fields, in my point of view, should make us ponder about whether our society is civilized at all.
Traditional ideology is so deeply rooted in people's minds that it is rather hard to be uprooted. Twenty or thirty years ago,it was believed that a woman must either get married young or risk becoming a spinster. Those who did not get married were thought to be inferior and abnormal. Fortunately, today's women have numerous options open to them besides early marriage. Actually, a single woman is no longer looked down upon by societ—in civilized region, to say the least. However, in those backward areas, things don't go as we expect. I was a larmingly shocked by last winter vacation's experience. I went to Huizhou, a small town next to mountain Huang, with my friends. I still remember the array of memorial archways inside the town. A local told us that they were all in memory of those so called "virtuous" women, whose husbands died early or left the town, never coming back and they stayed unmarried for the rest of their lives. In fact, I was shocked at the maintenance of these meaningless gateways, which serves as a symbol of despise on women. How can the locals regard them as glorious women?
Another important factor that hampers the development of women's status is women's counterpart men. Men's resistance to women's equality is partly caused by their awareness that what the male does is no longer indispensable and women may be superior in some fields. Actually, they have proved to be brilliant in the fierce competitions time and again. Moreover, with the rapid development of technology, few tasks involve much physical strength. Therefore, women can do more work than men sometimes.
As a matter of fact, the society itself also lays a heavy burden and unequal standards on women. Although remarkable progress has been made in achieving better social status and sharing more equal rights for women in the past decades, their roles in their families remain basically unchanged. The double burden of working inside and outside home renders them no possibility to make full use of their talents and hinders them from taking the leadership. We should admit that women are favorable for occupations such as services, which are paid less than male jobs and have less opportunity to be promoted to top management positions. Women often drop out at critical points in their careers for the sake of their families and children. The decade from twenty five to thirty five has proved to be vital in achieving success or securing a promising post, which is also the years when women are likely to have children. Thus, they are left far behind men in the competitions for fame and power.
In modern society, we do see women powers, such as Mad am Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, and Wu Yi, the vice Premier of China who played an important role in these critical days against SARS. But why have they drawn people's attention? Just because they are women and female leaders are too rare to be seen.
Taking into account all the relevant factors, we may safely conclude that we won't make progress in the achievement of women's status and their equal opportunities if people's traditional ideas, men's attitude, society's burden remain unchanged. The picture isn't quite rosy. Equality with men continues to be the goal of modern civilized society.
簡 評
文明社會發展到今天，女性的地位是否徹底地改觀了?如果女性的地位是一個社會發展水平的標誌，那麼我們的社會正處在哪一個階段?
文章首尾呼應，最後一段總結釦題，是文章的可取之處。開篇引用名人名言匯入文章中心句thesis statement，看似提出質疑，實際觀點明確。而結尾綜述總結論證，再次明確自己的立場，指出“...we won't make progress in the achievement of women's status and their equal opportumtms if people's traditional ideas，men's attitude，society's burden remain unchanged....Equality with men continues tO be the goal ofmodern civilized society.”
文章條理清晰，從傳統觀念的束縛、男性群體對女權運動的反作用和女性的雙重社會責任帶給她們的困惑這三個方面充分論證了女性的不平等地位。文章的不足之處在於，第三段關於男性在女權運動中的作用論述不夠深入。通常在面對一個相對較難闡述的問題時，可以借用比喻或恰當的例證，使論述更容易理解，更有說服力。
點評教師：盧愛華
看過的人還：