英語小笑話大全爆笑死人

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編整理了爆笑死人英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑死人英語小笑話篇一

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　紐西蘭的氣候

　　老師：馬修，紐西蘭的氣候怎麼樣?

　　馬修：先生，那裡的天氣很冷。

　　老師：錯了。

　　馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。

　　爆笑死人英語小笑話篇二

　　The Perfect Son

　　A: I have the perfect son.

　　B: Does he smoke?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: Does he drink whiskey?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: Does he ever come home late?

　　A: No, he doesn't.

　　B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

　　A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

　　完美兒子

　　A:我有一個很完美的兒子.

　　B:他抽菸嗎?

　　A:不抽.

　　B:他喝威士忌酒嗎?

　　A:不喝.

　　B:他會不會很晚回家?

　　A:不會.

　　B:我想你確實有一個完美兒子. 那他多大了?

　　A:下個星期三就滿6個月了.

　　爆笑死人英語小笑話篇三

　　今年冬天冷不冷?

　　Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service.

　　印地安人問他們的新酋長，這個冬天是冷還是溫暖。這位年輕的酋長從沒學過祖先那些本領，他只好吩咐他們去撿木柴，然後自己走到一邊去給國家氣象局打電話。

　　"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.

　　“今年冬天會不會很冷?”他問。

　　"Looks like it," is the answer.

　　“看上去是這樣的。”他得到這樣的回答。

　　So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.

　　於是酋長要求大家收集更多的木柴。一個星期後，他又打電話給國家氣象局。

　　"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"

　　“你確信今年冬天會很冷?”

　　"Absolutely."

　　“毫無疑問。”

　　The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"

　　酋長隨即要求族人撿更多的木柴，然後再次給國家氣象局打電話：“你肯定嗎?”

　　"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."

　　“我告訴你，那將是有史以來最寒冷的冬天。”

　　"How do you know?"

　　“你怎麼知道?”

　　"Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

　　“因為印第安人正發瘋似地撿木柴!”