英語小笑話簡單

　　笑話是文化的重要組成部分,通過笑話,我們可以瞭解一個國家的文化內涵。小編精心收集了簡單英語小笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡單英語小笑話篇1

　　A Satisfied Gustomer

　　一位心滿意足的客戶

　　A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.

　　有一位相貌粗魯的傢伙走進銀行對櫃檯職員說:

　　"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "

　　“我想開個***的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."

　　“當然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說，“但沒有必要使用那種字眼。”

　　"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.

　　“嘿，***的能不能快一點嗎?我在趕時間呢!”

　　"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "

　　“先生，我不習慣別人那樣子對我說話。”

　　"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"

　　“我要開一個××的活期存款賬戶，而且要現在就辦，懂了嗎?”

　　"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.

　　“先生，我去找經理來。”氣憤的年輕小姐說著。

　　Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"

　　不久她帶了經理回來，那位滿頭白髮、看起來很莊嚴的老先生問道：“先生，到底有什麼問題嗎?

　　“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "

　　“我剛中彩券得了一千萬美元，我想開個***的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"

　　“我知道了，”經理說道，“而這個臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?”

　　簡單英語小笑話篇2

　　Play Now Pay Later

　　先享受後付款

　　Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,

　　花花公子傑克喜歡到世界各地探險，和許多妓女風流，

　　but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.

　　但在香港，他終於遇到一名職業神女，這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。

　　First, he consulted a British doctor.

　　首先他請教了一名英國醫生。

　　"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,

　　“我的天啊!”醫生叫道，

　　"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have to amputate. "

　　“你所患的性病比一本醫學教科書還要豐富，恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”

　　Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,

　　花花公子心生恐懼，便找了一位美國專科醫師幫忙，但那名專科醫師表情凝重地搖頭說：

　　"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "

　　“對不起，小兄弟，如果我們不切除那活兒，病毒將會感染到其他器官。”

　　Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.

　　那名風流公子走投無路，便向一位中醫請教。

　　The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.

　　這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細檢查病人後煞有介事地點頭說道：

　　"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "

　　“我知道你的問題。你和壞女人亂搞，她的性病很嚴重，你現在的病情也很嚴重。

　　“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "

　　“大夫，英國和美國的醫生都說我的東西必須要切除……”

　　"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "

　　“這些西醫所做的就是切，切，切，然後收一大筆錢。”

　　"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.

　　“你意思是我可以不用動外科手術?!”年輕人喜出望外地問道。

　　"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.

　　“別擔心，”老中醫師說：

　　"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."

　　“回家去，好好休息一陣，等二三個星期後，那活兒會自己掉下來。”

　　簡單英語小笑話篇3

　　Put Yourself in My Place

　　設身處地替人想一想

　　Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,

　　某一農場上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。

　　Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.

　　老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來了。

　　"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "

　　“那個茅房什麼問題也沒有啊，孩子的娘。”

　　Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.

　　老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進茅坑當中。

　　"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"

　　“嘿!”老爸說道，“我的鬍子粘住了!”

　　"Aggravatin', ain't it?"

　　“問題嚴重了，是不是呢?”