英語課前一分鐘演講笑話

  幽默與笑話是人們生活中的精神樂趣,是人們智慧與文化的結晶。在特定語境下,利用語音模糊、詞語模糊、句義模糊以及標點模糊等構成幽默與笑話,能收到妙趣橫生的表達效果,具有一定的探討價值。 下面是小編帶來的,歡迎閱讀!

  篇一

  Improvement

  One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

  "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

  進步

  一位學生對另一位說:“你的 英語 最近學的怎麼樣?”

  “很好,我過去不懂英國人說話,可現在是英國人不懂我的話了。”

  篇二

  One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.

  When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"

  "You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.

  On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.

  Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

  情人節前一天,一個女人做了個項鍊的夢。

  當她醒來,她和她丈夫說:“我剛夢到你情人節給了我一根珍珠項鍊。你說那是什麼含義呢?”。

  “到情人節那天你就會知道了。”他笑著說。

  情人節那天,男人給了他老婆一個禮盒。

  她很興奮地開啟,看到的卻是一本書,書名是《夢的解析》。

  篇三

  One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

  一天有隻小白兔來到麵包店問:“請問你們有100個小麵包嗎?”

  The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

  老闆回答:“抱歉我們沒有那麼多。”

  "Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.

  “哦,太遺憾了。”小白兔失望地離開了。

  The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

  第二天小白兔又來到那個麵包店問:“請問你們有100個小麵包嗎?”

  The shopkeeper again answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

  老闆仍回答:“抱歉我們沒有那麼多。”

  "Oh, it's a pity," said the rabbit, and again left, disappointed.

  “哦,太遺憾了。”小白兔又失望地離開了。

  The third day the little white rabbit went again to the bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

  第三天小白兔依然來到那家麵包店,問:“請問你們有100個小麵包嗎?”

  "Oh, yes we have 100 buns today!" the shopkeeper answered gladly.

  “啊是的,今天我們有100個小麵包啦!”老闆高興地回答。

  "That's great, I'll buy two, thank you!"

  “那太好啦!我買2個,謝謝!”

  The shopkeeper stood silently.

  老闆無語了……

  篇四

  My Sister's Fingers

  Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

  Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

  Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

  Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

  我妹妹的手指頭

  老師:凱溫,這次你怎麼又遲到了?

  凱溫:對不起,老師,我在家釘釘子,砸壞了兩個手指頭。

  老師:怎麼沒有扎繃帶呀?

  凱溫:噢,砸的不是我的手指頭,我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。

  篇五

  The Climate of New Zealand

  Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

  Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

  Teacher: Wrong.

  Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

  紐西蘭的氣候

  老師:馬修,紐西蘭的氣候怎麼樣?

  馬修:先生,那裡的天氣很冷。

  老師:錯了。

  馬修:可是,先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。