經典簡短的英語笑話薦讀

　　笑話不再讓人發笑的原因:一是由於語言的變遷,二是由於服裝的變遷,這是文化變遷的集中表現。下面小編整理了簡短的英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　簡短的英語笑話摘抄

　　亞伯拉罕.林肯現在做什麼?***中英***

　　Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?

　　根據你從歷史書瞭解到的知識.你認為亞伯拉罕·林肯如果今天還活著的話，他會在做什麼呢?

　　***1***Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.

　　***1***寫有關美國內戰的回憶錄。

　　***2*** Advising the President.

　　***2***向總統提建議。

　　***3*** Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

　　***3***在他的棺材裡拼命地抓_

　　簡短的英語笑話鑑賞

　　你現在要幹什麼?***中英***

　　After a family meal one night, 3 generations of the family are sitting around chatting. A 4 year old is sitting on her grandfather's knee.

　　晚飯後，祖孫三代人圍坐一起聊天，四歲大的孫子坐在祖父的膝蓋上。

　　4Yo: "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"

　　四歲的孫子:“爺爺，你能學青蛙叫嗎?”

　　G: "What?"

　　爺爺:“什麼?”

　　4Yo: "Can you make a noise like a frog?"

　　四歲的孫子:“你能學青蛙叫嗎?”

　　G: "Why do you want me to make a noise like a frog?"

　　爺爺:“為什麼想讓我學青蛙叫呢?”

　　4Yo: "Well, last night Daddy said that when you croak we can all go to Disneyland.”

　　四歲的孫子:“因為昨晚爸爸說，你像青蛙那樣叫了，我們就可以去迪斯尼樂園了?”

　　Luckily the old man took the comment in good humor.

　　幸運的是，對這件事老人一笑了之。

　　簡短的英語笑話賞析

　　他們希望什麼***中英***

　　Heard this morning on CNN that a lot of the Iraqi troops surrendered when, instead of the foot soldiers they were expecting, American tanks rolled in. Didn’t anybody tell them that Americans never walk anywhere they can drive?

　　今早從美國有線電視網中聽到:當美國坦克進攻的時候，伊拉克部隊投降了，因為他們原以為來的會是美國步兵。難道在這之前從來就沒有人告訴過他們，美軍是能開車就決不步行的嗎?

　　簡短的英語笑話欣賞

　　如果我先死了怎麼辦***中英***

　　A couple who have been married for 20 years is preparing for bed when the following conversation takes place. . .

　　一對已經結婚20年的夫婦正準備睡覺，然後就有了下面這段對話:

　　She: "Honey, if I die before you, would you remarry?"

　　妻子:親愛的，如果我死在你前面了，你會再婚嗎?

　　He: "That's a morbid question!”

　　丈夫:這是個可怕的問題。

　　She: "No, I really want to know.”

　　妻子:可我真的想知道!

　　He ***pauses to think***: "Yes, I suppose after a decent amount of time I might Remarry.”

　　丈夫:對，我想在你死了相當長一段時間後，我也許會再婚的。

　　She: "Would she live in our house?"

　　妻子:那她會住我們的房子嗎?

　　He: "Well, the mortgage is almost paid off一would you really expect me to move?"

　　丈夫:咱們的抵押貸款已經還清了，難道你真的忍心讓我搬家嗎?

　　She: "Would she wear my mink coat?"

　　妻子:那她會穿我的貂皮大衣嗎?

　　He: "You know I paid幻，500 for that coat- would you really want me to sell it for a loss?"

　　丈夫:你是知道的，我可是花了3500美元買的這件大衣，難道你真的忍心，由於你的去世就讓我把這大衣賣了嗎?

　　She: "Well, would she drive my BMW?"

　　妻子:那她會開我的寶馬嗎?

　　He: "No. Absolutely not. She know how to drive a stick shift!”

　　丈夫:不，決不會，她不會開手動檔的車。

　　簡短的英語笑話品味

　　為什麼選擇學醫***中英***

　　A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumbertype things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

　　一個醫生家的水管子裂了，他叫來了一個管鉗工人。工人到後，開啟工具箱，在管子上弄了幾下，別人也搞不清他都做了些什麼，然後，就遞給了醫生一張600美元的帳單。

　　The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!" The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor.”

　　醫生問:“太可笑了，我做醫生也沒掙這麼多錢啊!”管鉗工人等著拿錢時，禮貌地說:“我當醫生的時候，也沒想到會這樣。”