笑到肚子疼的英語笑話

　　笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Seeking His Fortune 闖世界

　　A bright boy left his family, going to new York to seek his fortune. None of his family seemed to doubt that he would gain success and wealth.

　　Several months passed without a word from him. One cold winter afternoon his father received a note from him at last. It was scribbled1***潦草地書寫*** in pencil on a small piece of oldwrapping2 paper.

　　He wrote: "Pa, now I'm under the old bridge. Meet me tomorrow night and bring with you a blanket or a suit of clothes."

　　一個生機勃勃的少年離開家人，到紐約去闖世界。他的家人好像都很相信他會成功，獲得財富。

　　幾個月過去了，他卻杳無音訊。一個嚴冬的下午他的父親終於收到了他寫的一個便條，是用鉛筆潦草地寫在一小片舊的包裝紙上的。

　　他寫的是：“爸爸，我現在就在那座舊橋下面，明天晚上來接我吧。要帶一條毛毯或一套衣服來。”

　　篇二

　　A stingy traveler 節儉的旅行家

　　Once a traveler wanted to visit Springfield by train. He went up to a ticket window and said to theconductor1, "I want a ticket for Springfield."

　　"Which Springfield?" asked the conductor, "Springfield, Massachusetts; Springfield, Ohio; Springfield, Missouri; or Springfield, Illinois?" "Well, which is the cheapest?" asked the traveler.

　　有個旅行家想乘火車去遊覽斯普林菲爾德。他到一個售票視窗對售票員說：“我要一張去斯普林菲爾德的車票。”

　　“那個斯普林菲爾德呀?”售票員問道，“是馬薩諸塞的，俄亥俄的，密蘇里的還是伊利諾斯的?”旅行家說：“哦，哪裡的最便宜呢?

　　篇三

　　An old couple 一對老夫婦

　　An old couple were very saving. As a result they had a beautifully furnished house. One day the old woman missed her husband. She called out: "Old man, where are you?"

　　"I'm in the parlor1 for a nap," replied the old man. the old woman was horrified2 to hear that. She cried: "What? On the sofa?" "No, I'm lying on the floor," replied the old man.

　　"Not on that grand carpet?" the old woman asked again anxiously. "No, I've rolled it up," said her husband.

　　有一對老夫婦非常節省，於是有了一棟裝置很華麗的房子。有一天，老太婆沒有看到她的丈夫，就大聲喊他：“老頭，你在哪裡呀?”

　　老頭回答說：“我在客廳裡小睡一會兒。”老太婆震驚得大叫起來，說：“什麼?是在沙發上睡嗎?”

　　“不是，我是躺在地板上的，”老頭回答說。老太婆又著急地問道：“不是躺在華麗的地毯上吧?”“不是的，我已經把它捲起來啦!”老頭說。

　　篇四

　　It was made worse 弄巧成拙

　　A man went to London to visit a friend. He stayed far longer than was expected. A week passed, he still made no attempt to leave.

　　At last his friend gave him a gentle hint1: "Don't you think that your wife and children would miss you?" But beyond expectation the man's answer was: "Oh, thank you very much. It's most kind of you. I'll send for them."

　　有個人到倫敦去看望一個朋友。他逗留了很久，是他的朋友沒有料到的。過了一個星期，他還沒打算離去。

　　最後他的朋友很客氣地暗示他說：“你不覺得你的妻子和孩子在家裡會想念你嗎?”不料這個人的回答是：“啊，非常感謝你。你真是太好心了，我就把他們叫來吧。”

　　篇五

　　A poor housekeeper 差勁的主婦

　　A woman was dissatisfied with her next-door neighbor. She told her friend that the neighbor was a poor housekeeper1, her house was not clean and her children were dirty. Then she complained that one was almost disgraced by living near such a neighbor.

　　"Just look," she said, "at those clothes and those sheets and pillow cases she has hung outside all with black streaks2***條痕*** up and down."

　　Her friend stepped to the window, raised it and looked out. Then he said: "It seems the clothes are very clean. The streaks that you see are on your own window."

　　有個女人對他的隔壁鄰居很不滿意，跟她的朋友說這個鄰居不是個好主婦，說她家裡不乾淨，孩子們都髒。還抱怨說和這樣的鄰居住得這麼近幾乎是很不體面的。

　　她說：“你就看看吧，她掛在外面的那些衣服以及那些床單和枕頭套，上上下下都有一些黑斑紋。”

　　她的朋友走到窗前去，推開窗子看外面，然後說：“那些衣服看來非常乾淨。你看到的那些斑紋都是你自己窗子上的。”