座右銘未來
1、我在馬路邊，看到一分錢，剛要彎腰撿，原來是口痰，我靠，誰吐這麼圓？
Along the road， I saw a cent， just bent down to pick it up and turned out to be a mouth sputum， I depend， who spit is so round？
2、考考你：世界上的豬一夜之間都死光了該怎麼辦？（打一歌名）《至少還有你》呀！
Test you： the pig overnight in the world is dead？ (a title) "still have you at least" ah！
3、小豬小豬了不起，每天睡到十點起，頓頓五碗都見底，體重沒有誰敢比，要問小豬在哪裡？正在偷笑看簡訊。
Pig pig， slept at 10 o 'clock， at the bottom five bowls， weight than， no one dare to ask where the pig？ Stealing a smile。
4、對不起！我不小心把“喜歡你”發到了你的手機裡，如果你接受請保留；如果不接受，請把它發還給我。
I'm sorry！ I accidentally put the "love you" to your mobile phone， if you accept please keep； If you don't accept， please send it back to me。
5、什麼叫浪漫，明知道她不愛你，還送她99朵玫瑰。什麼叫浪費，明知道她愛你還送她99朵玫瑰。愚人節快樂！
What is romantic， know she doesn't love you， also send her 99 roses。 What is waste， know she loves you also send her 99 roses。 Happy April fool's day！
6、昨天晚上我做了個夢，夢見你掉進了臭糞坑，爬上後你竟說：到底是生了個好時代，連糞坑也香噴噴。
I had a dream last night， dreamed you fell into smelly cesspit， climb up after you have said， is had a good time， even the cesspit also delicious。
7、你去超市買了一管牙膏後離開，收銀員望著你的背景感嘆：世道變了，豬都進化到會刷牙了！
Leave after you go to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste， the cashier looked at your background exclamation： the world has changed， the pig all evolution to brush your teeth！
8、給你講個故事，從前有個笨蛋，他非常笨，別人問他什麼問題他都只會搖頭或回答“沒有”，這個故事你聽過嗎？
Tell you a story， once upon a time there was a fool， he is very stupid， others ask him what problem he would only shake head or answer "no"， have you heard of the story？
9、恭喜你中了大獎，請於今天晚上十點整，帶著馬刀、鳥槍、土炮到中國人民銀行蒙面領取。愚人節快樂！
Congratulations to you in the awards， please at ten o 'clock this evening the whole， with a sabre， shotgun， soil cannon to receive noodles to receive the people's bank of China。 Happy April fool's day！
10、遇見你是無意，認識你是天意，想著你是情意，不見你時三心二意，見到你便一心一意，如果某天我們有了退意，至少還有回憶！
Didn't intend to meet you， meet you is providence， thinking you were feeling， half-hearted when not see you， see you wholeheartedly， if one day we had the announcement， at least remember！
11、在我眼裡，你看上去永遠是那麼無憂無慮，吃飯永遠是津津有味，睡覺永遠是酣然而睡。我真羨慕你啊，有時想想，做一隻豬也挺好的。
In my eyes， you look is always so carefree， eat forever with relish， sleeping is a han however sleep forever。 I envy you ah， sometimes think， do a pig also is pretty good。
12、當你收到此訊息，你的手機已經中毒了，請在30秒內脫光衣服，裸體自轉10圈，否則手機停用，你還笑！還不快脫！
When you receive this message， your phone is poisoning， please within 30 seconds stripped naked， naked rotation 10 laps， or mobile terminated， you still smile！ Still not quick to take off！
13、你就要去他方遠行，真誠的朋友為你送行；凜冽的寒風，擋不住我倆的友情；我握住你的手說：好好改造，爭取減刑！愚人節快樂！
You will go to other travel， sincere friends to see you off。 The cold wind stop our friendship； I hold your hand say： good reformation， fight for commutation！ Happy April fool's day！
14、東海魚倉多魚群聚，大魚小魚魚游魚碰魚。漁民呂玉撒網去捕魚，還沒捕完天下雨。雨珠打魚，魚遇雨，呂玉雨中忙捕魚。
The east China sea fish warehouse more clusters， touch the fish fish fish fish fish。 Fishermen Lv Yu net to fishing， I'm not chasing after the rainy day。 The beads fishing， fish in the rain， Lv Yuyu busy fishing。
15、我總是很愛你，是因為你總是很帥氣；我有時太恨你，是因為你有時太無理；我今天祝福你，是因為你今天過節氣。祝愚人節快樂無邊！
I always love you， because you are always very handsome； I sometimes very hate you， because you sometimes too unreasonable； I wish you well today， because you had a throttle。 Happy April fool's day endless！
16、喜你已被美國牛精大學野蠻系無文化班錄取，請帶齊你的痴呆、奇難雜症到唔系九路正撲街鐵達呢號美國大屎館報道。
Like you have been admitted to U。S。 cattle with fine university department of brutal culture club， please bring your dementia， difficult and complicated to not is flapping street TieDa nine road the big shit house report。
17、為了你，我不在乎世俗的眼光，不顧所有流言蜚語，只要能擁有你，哪怕是世界末日我也在所不惜，我要大聲向全世界宣佈：我愛你，人民幣！
In order to you， I don't care about the secular vision， in spite of all the gossip， as long as you can with you， even I'm at the end of the world， I want to loudly announced to the world： I love you， yuan！
18、不看我簡訊的刑事拘留，不回我簡訊的勞動改造。不打我電話的發配北極喂熊。時常想我電話簡訊聯絡我的，獎你一張2016的船票，送出地球。
Don't look at my message of criminal detention， not to return my messages through Labour。 Don't call me sent the arctic bear。 Often think I phone short message to contact me， for you a ticket 2016， out of the earth。
19、人活著真累！上車得排隊，單戀真受罪，吃飯沒香味，喝酒容易醉，上班特疲憊，搶劫還不會，掙錢得交稅，就連給小豬發個簡訊還得收費。
One live really tired！ Get on the bus line， unrequited love really suffer， eat no fragrance， drink drunk， go to work very tired， not robbery， earn money to pay tax， even send a text message to the pigs have to charge。
20、有人說你，白天像教授，晚上像禽獸。我看他們錯了，因為晚上你脫了衣服是禽獸，白天你穿上衣服也不是教授，是衣冠禽獸！
Some people say that you， like professor during the day， night like a beast。 I think they're wrong， because you stripped off his clothes at night is a beast， you put on clothes during the day also is not a professor， is a beast！
21、叩響愚人節的鐘聲，讓思念在嬉戲中綿延；送上調侃的簡訊，讓快樂在節日裡歡唱；祝福生活更加甜蜜，讓幸福在生活中滋長。祝你愚人節快快樂樂！
The bell at April fool's day， let miss stretches in play； To poke fun of SMS， let happy singing in the holiday period； Blessing life more sweet， let the happiness in life。 I wish you a happy April fool's day！
22、愚人節，請把快樂的標籤貼在生活裡面，讓歡笑特價，讓尷尬減價，讓放鬆廉價，讓疲憊降價，讓健康加價，讓疾病下架，讓美麗心情放個假。
Happy April fool's day， please put the tag in life， let the laughter specials， let embarrassment on sale， lets loosen cheap， let tired price， price for health， disease has shelves， let beautiful mood put one false。
23、愚人節不只有愚弄，還有祝福；愚人節不只有欺騙，還有問候；愚人節不只有調侃，還有真誠；愚人節，真心祝你“愚”時俱進，沉“愚”落雁。
April fool's day is not only a fool， and bless； April fool's day is not only cheating， and greeting； April fool's day is not only fun， and sincere； April fool's day， sincerely wish you "fools" by the， sink "fool" wild goose。
24、愚人節到真熱鬧，處處都是歡聲笑。朋友之間會惡搞，捉弄之人到處跑。別人欺騙也不惱，開開心心快樂繞。祝你愚人節開心一笑！
April fool's day to really lively， everywhere is cheers and laughter。 Between friends can parody， playing tricks on people around。 Deceive others also not angered， open happy heart happiness around。 I wish you a happy April fool's day a smile！
25、你在哪？快點去看衛星電視臺，快點！美國一家大型核電站被人為洩漏，造成大量生物變異！其中一隻變異猩猩正在看這則簡訊吶！
Where are you？ Hurry up go to see the satellite television station， hurry up！ One of America's biggest nuclear power plant by artificial leak， cause a lot of biological variation！ The variation gorilla of an among those is see this message shout！
26、一陣鈴聲催人起，喚醒睡在美夢中，匆忙開啟瞧一眼，上面顯示已遲到，撒腿趕緊往外跑。到廠一看就一個，傻瓜笨蛋湧心頭，此刻才想愚人節。祝愚人節快樂！
A ringing people up， wake up sleeping in a dream， in a hurry to open the look， shown above has been late， and hurry to go out。 To the factory a while see, fool fool chung heart, at the moment to April fool's day。 Happy April fool's day！
27、收簡訊的人聽著：你已經被包圍了！幸福要與你熊抱，快樂要把你絆倒，甜蜜將對你綁票，好運要對你實施偷襲，美女想跟你學習接吻技巧，你已經無處可逃！
To receive the SMS to listen： you have been surrounded！ Happy happy to bear hug with you, to trip you up, sweet for your ransom, good luck to you sneak attack, beauty want to talk to you learn kissing skills, you have nowhere to run！
28、你血壓高，血脂高，職位不高。大會不發言，小會不發言，前列腺發炎。政績不突出，業績不突出，腰間盤突出。呵呵！愚人節快樂啦！
You high blood pressure, high blood fat, position is not high。 No speak, moment don't speak, prostate gland inflammation。 The poor performance is outstanding, outstanding performance, between the waist dish outstanding。 Ha ha！ Happy April fool's day！
29、彩票想中個500萬—難！情人想找個楊玉環—難！身上想百病不纏—難！難難難！其實都不難！告訴你，招財童子誕齊傳：招財童子到！好運想不來都難！
Lottery tickets to a 5 million - difficult！ Lover to look for a jade bracelet, difficult！ Who want to or not bound - difficult！ Difficult difficult difficult！ Actually not difficult！ To tell you, lucky boy born JiChuan： lucky boy！ Good luck don't think it's hard to！
30、一歲半斤二鍋頭，兩歲情場是老手，三歲吃喝嫖賭抽，四歲坑蒙拐騙偷，此人年少有出息，長大以後智商低，明知此人就是你，仍然堅持看到底。佩服！佩服！
One and a half jins spirit erguotou, love is two years old veteran, food and drink piao wager smoking three years old, four're incapable to steal, the man in a rare promise, low IQ, when I grew up knowing that the person is you, still see the bottom。 Admire！ Admire！