一分鐘英語笑話演講稿

　　經常看笑話可使你成為一個心胸寬廣的人,古語說得好,一笑泯恩仇。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Good Doggie

　　One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

　　Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse."My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill."What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died."

　　Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"

　　To which the man replied, "Get in line."

　　：Investigating a terrible accident

　　There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogatethe monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.

　　The police chief asks, "What were the people doing on the bus?"

　　The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun.

　　The chief asks, "Yeah, but what else were they doing?".

　　The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.

　　The chief says, "Oh! They were drinking, huh??!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?"

　　The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.

　　The chief loses his patience, "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?"

　　The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.rrible accident

　　：Bad Parrot

　　A man named Fred owned a parrot that hardly ever stoped talking. One day the man was going to have an old friend over so he told the parrot to be quiet or else he would flush him. The parrot kept talking and the man warned him again. It didn't work. The parrot kept right on talking. The man took the parrot and flushed him down the toilet. When Fred's friend arived he asked if he could use the bathroom. Fred said sure it is the first door on the right. When the man comes out he asks Fred if he has a tape player in the bathroom. Fred says no and than asks why. The man tells Fred that he heard something say "I see your heini, looks so shiny." So Fred and his friend go in there and Fred sees his parrot going in circles singing "Floatin' Down The River On A Big Brown Log"