短的爆笑英文小笑話大全閱讀

　　笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。小編整理了短的爆笑英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：Dragging your feet

　　Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

　　As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969."

　　The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：Donkey Raffle

　　Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.

　　The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

　　"Well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.

　　"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."

　　"OK then, just unload the donkey," said Kenny.

　　"Whatcha gonna do with him?" asked the farmer.

　　"I'm going to raffle him off," Kenny replied.

　　"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer exclaimed.

　　"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

　　A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the dead donkey?"

　　"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.

　　"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.

　　"Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back," Kenny proudly replied.

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：Dirty Birds

　　A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

　　"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

　　"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'"

　　"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem.

　　Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible.

　　My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

　　"Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house.

　　His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

　　The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say,"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

　　One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：Dangerous Squirrels

　　A man, Bob, and his friend Joe went out hunting. This was Joe抯 first time ever hunting, so he was following Bob抯 lead.

　　Bob saw a small herd of deer and told Joe to stay in the exact spot he was and to be quiet!

　　After a few minutes, Bob heard a loud scream. He ran back and asked Joe what had happened.

　　Joe said "There was this snake and he slittered across my feet, but I never screamed.

　　Then there was this bear that came up to me and snarled, but I never screamed."

　　"So then what did make you scream," Bob asked, exasperated. "Well," Joe continued, "two squirells crawled up my pants and I overheard them say, "Should we take them home or eat 抏m now?""

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：Ducks in Heaven

　　Three women die in a car accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Gates and welcomes them saying "you can do as you please in Heaven, just don't step on any ducks."

　　The women are puzzled but proceed into Heaven. Looking around, they notice there are ducks everywhere. In a matter of minutes, one of the women steps on a duck.

　　Saint Peter walks up to the woman with a hideously ugly man. Saint Peter shackles the man and the woman together and says, "for stepping on a duck, you have to spend eternitychained to this ugly man."

　　The other two women are shocked but go about their business until, sure enough, another woman steps on a duck. Immediately Saint Peter comes and shackles her to another ugly man.

　　The last woman tries desperately to not step on a duck. After a few months of not stepping on any ducks, Saint Peter walks up to the woman accompanied by a stunningly handsome man. He shackles the woman to the man and after a while, the woman being thrilled to be chained to such a handsome man, says "I don't know what I did to deserve this."

　　The man replies, "I don't know what you did lady, but I stepped on a duck."