二年級好笑的英語笑話

　　從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的調劑品 ,它使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　聰明的兒子

　　One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The son took the letter. The father then remembered he didn't write address and addressee's name on the envelope.

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter into the mail box?"

　　"Certainly."

　　"You didn't notice that the envelope does not have address and addressee's name on it?"

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

　　"Then why didn't you take it back?"

　　"I thought that you did not write address and addressee, because you wouldn't let me know to whom you send the letter!"

　　有一天，父親讓八歲的兒子寄信。兒子接過信。父親這時才想起他沒有在信封上寫地址與收件人名稱。

　　兒子回來後，父親問他：“你已經把信塞進信箱了嗎?”

　　“當然。”

　　“你沒注意到信封上沒有地址和收件人的名字嗎?”

　　“我當然看到信封上什麼也沒有。”

　　“那你為什麼不把它拿回來?”

　　“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人是因為你不想讓我知道你要將這封信寄給誰!”

　　篇二

　　同輩的壓力

　　My teen-age son，Chad，and nine of his friends came home one night with newly pierced ears. When his grandmother heard about it，she asked him why he did it.”Peer

　　pressure," Chad told her.

　　一天晚上，我十幾歲的兒子查理，帶著九個朋友回到家，他們都紮了耳朵眼兒。當兒子的奶奶聽說了這件事時，她問我兒子為什麼要這樣做，查理告訴她:“是同輩的壓力。”

　　"You should be a leader instead of a follower，”Grandma said.

　　奶奶說：“你應該做個領頭的，”

　　"I was,"he replied. "It was my idea.”

　　“我是個領頭的。”他回答說：“這是我的主意。”

　　篇三

　　Identification 證明

　　A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed，but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards，her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license，but she didri t have one.

　　一位婦女來到我們銀行想兌換一張支票，但她在我們這兒沒建立帳戶。當我問她要證明材料時，她把社會保險卡、圖書卡拿給我看。我告訴她我們要看她的駕駛證，她說她沒有。

　　"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.

　　“難道你就沒帶照片的東西嗎?”

　　"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "

　　篇四

　　結婚禮物

　　Congratulations on our anniversary, "honey"! Here'syour gift - a septoc tank for the shit that comes outeverytime you open your mouth!

　　慶祝我們的結婚紀念日，“親愛的”!這是你的禮物 - 一個用來裝廢話的化糞池，裝你每次張嘴開口說的話!

　　They had both turned 60, divorce had been divertednumerous times, and now Randy felt invincible

　　他們倆都60了，離婚已無數次，現在蘭迪覺得自己無敵了

　　篇五

　　奔跑的小白兔

　　A little rabbit is happily running through the forestwhen he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. Therabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, whydo you do this? Come with me running through theforest, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looksat him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes offrunning with the rabbit.

　　有一隻小白兔快樂地奔跑在森林中，在路上它碰到一隻正在卷***的長頸鹿。小白兔看著長頸鹿說道：“長頸鹿我的朋友，你為什麼要做這種事呢?和我一起在森林中奔跑吧，你會感覺心情舒暢很多!”長頸鹿看看小白兔，又看看手裡的***煙，把***煙向身後一扔，跟著小白兔在森林中奔跑。

　　Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend,why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest,you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his coke, then tosses it and startsrunning with the rabbit and giraffe.

　　後來它們遇到一隻正準備吸食***的大象，小白兔又對大象說：“大象我的朋友，你為什麼要做這種事呢?想想自己的健康啊。跟我們一起在這片美麗的森林中奔跑吧，你會感覺好很多!”大象看看它們，又看看手中的***，於是把***向身後一扔，跟著小白兔和長頸鹿一起奔跑。

　　The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lionmy friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through thesunny forest, you will feel so good!"

　　後來它們遇到一隻正準備注射***的獅子，小白兔又對獅子說：“獅子我的朋友，你為什麼要做這種事呢?想想自己的健康啊!跟我們一起在這片陽光明媚的森林中奔跑吧，你會感覺如此美好!”

　　The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the rabbit. Asthe giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this?He was merely trying to help us all!"

　　獅子看看小白兔，放下手中的針筒，把小白兔猛揍了一頓。長頸鹿和大象被嚇壞了，它們看著獅子問它：“獅子，你為什麼要打小白兔呢?它只是想要幫助我們大家啊!”

　　The lion answers, "He makes me run around the forest like an idiot each time he's on ecstasy!"

　　獅子回答：“這傢伙每次嗑了***就拉著我像白痴一樣在森林裡亂跑!”