關於用英語表達的笑話
在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
A Regimen 養生之道
An old man of seventy-six went to a doctor to request a general check up as to the state of his health.
The doctor looked him up thoroughly1, and then told him: "Everything is fine." As the old man paid his fee, the doctor asked him: "Have you followed any regimen to help you keepphysically2 fit?"
"Well," replied the old man, "when I was married fifty years ago, I made an agreement with my wife that when I lost my temper3 and easily got angry, she would remain silent and when she lost her temper, I would leave the house. So for over fifty years I had enjoyed a fine outdoor life. That no doubt is the season why I can keep physically fit."
一個76歲的老頭去找醫生給他做一次常規體檢，以瞭解他的健康狀況。
醫生給他仔細檢查後告訴他：“一切都很好。”老人繳費的時候，醫生問他：“你有什麼養生之道幫助你保持健康呢?”
老頭回答道：“哦，50年前結婚時我就和妻子約定：當我生氣了，容易發怒的時候，她要保持沉默;而當她生氣時，我就出門去。於是我得以享受了50多年美好的戶外生活。這一點就是能夠使我保持健康的原因。”
篇二
A Pretentious Scholar 自命不凡的學者
A pretentious1***自命不凡的*** scholar was keen to show off. One day when he was being rowed across a stream, he asked the boatman: "Do you understand philosophy?"
"No, sir, " said the boatman. "Then, " said the scholar, "one-fourth of your life is gone." After a while he asked again, "Do you know geology?" "Nothing at all," said the boatman.
"Well, that makes one half of your life gone," said the scholar. Just then the boat suddenly tipped over. The boatman asked: "Can you swim?"
The scholor said, gasping2 for breath: "No." "Then your whole life is gone," said the boatman.
有個自命不凡的學者和喜歡賣弄。有一天他乘一隻小船過河去時，問船伕：“你懂哲學嗎?” 船伕說：“不懂哇，先生。”
學者就說：“那你的一生有四分之一算完了。”過了一會兒他又問：“你知道地質學嗎?” 船伕說：“一點也不懂。”學者就說：“那你的一生的已有一半算完了。”
就在這時，小船忽然翻了，船伕問學者：“你會游水嗎?”學者喘著氣說：“不會啊。”
船伕說：“那你的一生就全完啦。”
篇三
It was unnecessary 沒有必要
A man stopped at a place where a subscription1***捐獻*** was being raised for the purpose of fencing the cemetery2***墓地***. A lot of people had made a donation.
The man thought it was unnessary to do so. He said, "I have two reasons. In the first place, no one in the cemetery can get out; and in the second place, no one out want to get in."
有一個人在一個地方停了下來，看到那裡正在為墓地建造一道柵欄募集捐款。很多人捐了錢。
這個人認為沒有必要這樣做。他說：“我有兩個理由，首先，墓地裡的人沒有一個人能夠出來;其次，外面的人也沒有一個會想進去。”
篇四
The most wanted autograph 最想要的簽名
Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman1, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."
我們大學的校報開辦了一個每週一問的專欄。上週的問題是：“你最想要什麼人的簽名?為什麼?”和預計的一樣，大部分的回答都是歌星、體育明星或者政治家。但是，最優秀的答案來自一個一年級新生，他說：“在我畢業證上簽字的那個人。”
篇五
It might be the light
Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor1 in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Hey there," said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attracting them?
在田納西州叢林的深處，一個鄉下人的妻子半夜時分臨產，一名醫生被叫來幫手接生。 因為那個地方沒有通電，醫生把燈籠遞給那個快要當爸爸的農夫，說，“把這個高高舉著，這樣，我好乾活”。
很快，一名男嬰降臨到這人世界上。 “嘿”，醫生說，“彆著急把燈籠放下來，我覺得還有一個小孩要生出來。”，果然，沒幾分鐘，醫生又接生了一個嬰兒，這回是個女孩。“燈籠舉高點，不要坐下來，還有”，醫生說。
又過了幾分鐘，第三個孩子降生了。 “別，彆著急放下燈籠，看來，還有一個要出來!”，醫生不由得驚叫起來。 鄉下人撓頭抓耳，不明白是怎麼回事，於是問醫生，“你覺得是不是，這些小傢伙看到光所以爬出來了?”