經典短篇英文笑話英語大全爆笑

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。小編整理了經典短篇英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經典短篇英文笑話篇一

　　perfect match

　　a wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

　　eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. the woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

　　years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "dad," says the son, "there's something i've got to know. how did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"

　　"son," the father replies, "i painted the vase."

　　絕 配

　　一位富婆為擁有一隻珍貴的古玩而深感驕傲，以至於她竟要把臥室漆成與花瓶同樣的顏色。幾名油漆匠試圖調出這個底色，但是誰也沒有能令那位怪癖的婦女滿意。

　　最後來了位油漆匠。他非常自信能調出那種顏色。那婦女對他的成果非常滿意，油漆匠於是一舉成名。

　　多年以後，他退休了，生意也交給兒子。“爸，”兒子說，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎樣使牆的顏色與花瓶配得那麼絕的?”

　　“兒子，”父親回答說，“我漆了花瓶。”

　　經典短篇英文笑話篇二

　　good news and bad news

　　"there's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.

　　"i could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "what's it?"

　　"your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."

　　"and the bad news?"

　　"after the divorce, she's marrying your father."

　　好訊息和壞訊息

　　“有好訊息，也有壞訊息，”離婚律師告訴他的當事人。

　　“我總能利用一些好訊息吧，”當事人吧了口氣說，“是什麼好訊息?”

　　“你妻子沒有要求將你未來的繼承財產也劃入裁決的範圍。”

　　“那麼壞訊息呢?”

　　“離婚以後，她將與你父親結婚。”

　　經典短篇英文笑話篇三

　　a mistake

　　an amercian, a scot and a canadian were killed in a car accident. they arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered st. peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "give me $500 each," he said, "and i'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

　　"done!" said the american. instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

　　"where are the others?" asked a medic.

　　"last i knew," said the american, "the scot was huggling price, and the canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

　　搞錯了

　　一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。”

　　“成交!”美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

　　“其他人在哪兒?”一名醫生問道。

　　“我離開之前，”那名美國人說，“我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”