高中英語小笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　1

　　There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb.

　　一個小傢伙老喜歡吮自己的大拇指, 這可是個壞習慣。

　　His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.

　　他媽媽最後跟他說，如果他再吮大拇指的話，他就會變得很胖。

　　Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge.

　　兩個星期後的一天，她媽媽正跟幾個朋友在玩橋牌。

　　The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"

　　小傢伙指著一個因懷孕而體型明顯發胖的女人說，“啊，哈! 我知道你一直在做什麼!”

　　2

　　Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

　　在田納西州叢林的深處，一個山裡人的妻子半夜時分臨產，一名醫生被叫來幫手接生。

　　Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

　　因為那個地方沒有通電，醫生把燈籠遞給那個快要當爸爸的農夫，說，“把這個高高舉著，這樣，我好乾活”。很快，一名男嬰降臨到這人世界上。

　　“Hey there,” said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.

　　“嘿”，醫生說，“彆著急把燈籠放下來，我覺得還有一個小孩要生出來。”，果然，沒幾分鐘，醫生又接生了一個嬰兒，這回是個女孩。“燈籠舉高點，不要坐下來，還有”，醫生說。

　　Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

　　又過了幾分鐘，第三個孩子降生了。

　　"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

　　“別，彆著急放下燈籠，看來，還有一個要出來!”，醫生不由得驚叫起來。

　　The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attracting them?

　　山裡人撓頭抓耳，不明白是怎麼回事，於是問醫生，“你覺得是不是，這些小傢伙看到光所以爬出來了?”

　　3

　　One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.

　　孩子剛出生不久後的一天，當媽的要出去辦點事，所以把照看孩子的光榮任務交給了那位新爸爸。

　　Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

　　可是，媽媽剛出去一會，孩子就開始哭了。那位新爸爸使盡了渾身解數，但就是沒法讓孩子不哭。最後，孩子爸爸有點擔心了，決定抱著孩子去找醫生看看。

　　After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full.

　　醫生聽新爸爸說完事情的經過，開始給孩子作檢查，先是檢查孩子的耳朵，然後是胸部，最後檢查到系尿布的地方。當醫生開啟尿布時，他發現尿布裡面已經裝得滿滿當當的。

　　"Here's the problem," the doctor explained. "He just needs to be changed."

　　“問題就在這裡了”，醫生解釋說。“你其實給孩子換個尿布他就不會哭了。”

　　The perplexed father remarked, "But the diaper package specifically says it's good for up to 10 pounds!"

　　新爸爸一臉困惑地說，“但是尿布上的包裝特別顯眼地寫著‘適用至10磅’啊!”